Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
