we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
