I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
