I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize