Screwed.edu
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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