please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize