I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
