She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
id be glad to
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
