Your tits are I can't wait for
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
