what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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