I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
