i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
