yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
