either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I FOUND THE LEGS
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
