I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
