The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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