dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
