twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
