Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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