I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
