plz talk dirty to me
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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