in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You made out with two different species that night
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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