dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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