how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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