He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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