My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
