My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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