My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
