Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
