You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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