I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
