I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
