Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
