You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
he had hair everywhere except his balls
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
