it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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