i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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