Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize