It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
