I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
