I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
