Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
