I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
