Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
