I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You ate ashes out of my bong
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
