there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
COCAINE IS GR8
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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