Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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