"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
