dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
