your room smells of hookers.
And success
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
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