what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
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