I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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