Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
