if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
