I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I think your dad took our porno
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
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