he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
