If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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