Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
