you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He felt like a one man threesome
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
