I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
