THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
