I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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