tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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