I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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