dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We have started to decorate penises.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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