cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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